Frustration

Holly cow it has been a while.  I'm still here I promise :).   I hope everyone had a very blessed Christmas and  has a wonderful new year!

Things have been just crazy and very frustrating for me lately.  I'll go ahead and vent.  Since October of 2011 there has been "something" going on with me medically.  At this current moment, I am lucky to pick up my child's toys, or walk around the block with my dog (on a good day).  I used to be able to do anything and ride my horse (of course my favorite activity). The most annoying symptom is the feeling of pressure in my gums that is pushing on all of my teeth, blurred vision and dizziness.  I am 26 and career wise I am a nurse but lost my job due to being unable to walk down the hall to care for my patients.  To this day my lab work as shown negative on EVERYTHING.  I have seen so many MDS and still nothing.  I walked in the ER yesterday at a very research oriented hospital in Louisville, praying that one MD would consider doing the few things that haven't been done to me already to figure this out.  Wrong, you literally have to be dying to be admitted...  So here I go again, holding my chin up and suffering through another two month wait to go back to another specialist that I've already seen one of.  The past year has been one painful medical blur.

In this post I am not looking for any pity, I just want to share how this constant battle on the other side of the health care system has frustrated me, as a patient and as a nurse.  I am typically this sweet laid back, nice to everyone type of person.  Since this has come about I've learned that I am alone in this world (outside of my family, husband, a couple friends) and no one truly cares about you on a personal level outside of that.  I've had to become assertive.  It breaks my heart for all the patients that I took care of.  I knew the people I cared for were in pain, physically or emotionally, but this experience has allowed me to fully understand how they feel lying there in the hospital.  So healthcare workers...don't get frustrated when you feel a patient is being "needy", or rings the call bell 50 times.  I GUARANTEE they just want someone to listen to them...   And for all those folks still trying to find an answer.... Keep your chin up because we will find an answer.

And has anyone else watched those MONSTER INSIDE OF YOU shows? Yeah...starting to wonder...

In the studio...
Well, I don't actually have a studio yet sadly.  I'd love to have a room some day that can just be ALL horses.  But currently I have started working on Danielle Feldman's bridle.  I got her reins braided up.  Trying to think how exactly I want to do her bridle.  It'll be matched to a beautiful pad in Burgundy and Navy blue.  I have a classic scale bridle almost finished and am working on another traditional one right now.  It has a star bit, natural leather, dk brown, black and light mocha brown knots.  Will have dk brown reins too.  It will be for sale.

When I am finished with these few western bridles I am going to make a TWH bridle.  I need a change from western for a bit.  I have a lovely stone TWH I got from my secret santa on BLAB this year that is just itching to model it for me.  Cannot decide on a browband color yet. 

My brain is no longer functioning so I will come back and post again soon :).